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'Learning to get on better with your mother-in-law is about learning how to feel less of a victim, and deflecting her difficult behaviour.'ĭenise says it's worth reminding yourself that your mother-in-law can be a blessing, and it really is worth putting in some work to improve your relationship. If Mum won't give up mothering her son even though he's married, daughter-in-law is made to feel she's the second, not the first, woman in his life. As Relate's Denise Knowles explains: 'The main problem with the mother and daughter-in-law relationship is the feeling of inferiority it causes. These differences can soon cause a bitter stalemate. Meanwhile, mother-in-law wants her son looked after in the way only she can, which is of course impossible, unless the daughter in law is her clone.' 'Daughters-in-law often envy the relationship between mother and son and want to replace that relationship with themselves. Jealousy puts up barriers in these relationships. If you want to get on better with your mother-in-law, it might help to first work on what's causing the problems between yourself and your own mum.' They may resent mother figures and how they behave. 'Women who have the most problems with their mother-in-laws tend to be the same women who don't get on with their own mothers. 'Even if we fight, we can't avoid being close: it is our first relationship and we're so similar, yet different.
'As women, our relationship with our mums is quite distinct from any other relationship we'll ever have,' she says. While most of us wouldn't go so far as to describe her as a fearsome, interfering dragon, chances are our relationship, even if amicable, still needs careful handling.Ĭhartered psychologist Dr Sheila Rossan thinks the key to this lies in the intensity of our feelings for our own mothers. No matter how liberated we like to think we are, mention the mother-in-law and most of us probably think of the late Les Dawson and his endless supply of hilarious, but vicious, jokes at her expense.
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